If you were doing something that could destroy your relationships with every individual you currently care about, would you want to know? Absolutely. If that same behavior had the ability to make people hate being in your presence, would you still want to know? Any sane person would say “Yes,” and want to change that behavior as quickly as humanly possible. The particular bad-behaviors with which I am referencing are interrupting and fact checking people. These are both actions that I have recently been more attentive in correcting in my own life. Not only are these actions rude on so many levels, but they also destroy relationships, make people feel un-cared for, irrelevant and just plain irritated.

Fact checking, in my opinion, is when an individual rudely corrects another individual with “facts,” that they deem to be correct (even when they actually are not). These “facts” essentially discredit anything and everything that the person talking is trying to get across. If what the person is talking about is “incorrect” in your eyes and from your knowledge, odds are, it will not affect you five years from now. Let them be wrong (in your opinion). If what the person is saying is not detrimental to your own future, then let it be. Correcting them is not worth your mental energy nor stooping down to such a low level. fact checking people makes them dislike being in your company! Not one person wants to feel like they are wrong, discredited, of unworthy.

Secondly, when you fact check or interrupt someone mid-thought, you make them feel un-cared for and irrelevant. When you correct someone, especially following interrupting them, you will make that person feel that they are not being heard-out and that what they have to say is not “important enough” to you. If you don’t care enough to hear about someone else’s opinion, why even bother sparking up conversation with them in the first place? Respect people by listening to them and not interrupting or fact checking those things that they cared enough to tell you about in the first place. From my experience, I have noticed that people do not want to try and hold a conversation with anyone who makes them feel un-cared for, irrelevant, disrespected, wrong or unacknowledged. I can not emphasize this enough.

Lastly, being fact-checked and interrupted is just plain irritating! Who wants to constantly try and fight a verbal war just to get a thought out or for their words to be acknowledged? No one. A conversation shouldn’t constantly feel like effort. People are going to stop enjoying your company, inviting you to things and stop talking to you if you make them feel like their words are anything less than treasure to you. It doesn’t matter whether or not you care about what the person is saying, or even if what they are saying is “correct” in your eyes… it’s still appropriate to show them respect by listening and acknowledging what they have to say, without interrupting or fact-checking them. 

Conversation should be uplifting and interesting. It should not be exhausting and draining. In other words, we should let our ears work harder than our mouths. If you aren’t tired of listening and if you are not feeling extremely eager to talk by the end of the conversation, you are doing something wrong! Listen more than you speak. When you do speak, don’t interrupt or fact-check others. You may just find that your friendships, relationships and general interactions with people improve as a result…mine sure have.