Attention is something everyone craves and  few individuals are willing to admit they yearn for. I personally do not know one single individual that wants to live as an isolated hermit who receives zero attention. Everyone wants to be acknowledged and feel that they have “worth” to others, whether they admit it or not. No one wants to feel like they are being “over-looked”. I have recently become more keen to the fact that dressing provocatively in public increases the negative attention a person receives from others.

In the media, we consistently see both women and men baring as much skin as possible. Often times, it appears that they receive “positive” feedback through likes and followers as a result. They get attention and we are not oblivious to this fact. We desire attention too, and often times we conform to norms such as this. However, this attention is not a “good” type of attention, nor does it ear people respect. As a rule of thumb, people crave what they do not already have; they act, speak, dress and carry themselves in manners that reflects that they already have what they desire, but do not yet have. They do so in hopes of getting the attention and affirmation they crave. Nonetheless, not all attention is good attention.

I went to the Los Angeles Fitness Exposition for the past few years now. Every time I have gone, it was eye-opening in the sense that I was shocked. There were thousands of females and males who, appearing self-absorbed through flashing a lot of skin, were seeking validation that they were not already receiving elsewhere. Everywhere I looked there were either buff men flexing for photos, or females with their breasts bulging out of their workout bras. It is understandable that the professional athletes, who were being payed to be there as a result of their dedication to the sculpting of their physiques, would dress in such a manner. They had put in an incredible amount of hard work and dedication and were able to profit as a result of their efforts. Their careers were/are developed upon selling a product…the image of health as demonstrated by their sculpted physiques.

On the other hand, it was highly inappropriate for the average ticket buyers to dress in that same manner. For goodness sake, they were’t even being payed for it! Although there were plenty of classy, wholesome, kind, and motivated people at the convention, I can reasonably say that it was evident that the majority of the ticket-buyers were provocatively dressed in order to receive any attention they could get their hands on. They were dressed to attract the wrong type of attention. I whole-heartedly believe that showing self-respect by dressing conservatively, rather than provocatively in public (in application to both males and females), closely connects to peoples relationship status’; showing self-respect gets you respect and positive attention. 

The fitness conventions always remind me about when I constantly hear women complain about their objectifications. More often than not, it’s not the other way around. Women whine about how “fed-up” they are when men treat them like an object, use them, and make them feel like they are disposable. If a woman craves attention through the love and loyalty of a man, she should not dress in a way that “leaves nothing to the male imagination.” In other words, she should not dress in such a manner that makes men look at her like a piece of juicy steak. Vise-versa, if a man craves the love, compassion, trust, and devotion of a woman, he should not be dressed (or undressed shall I say) in any way that makes him appear “available” to every passing woman. I’d argue that respect is the ultimate form of positive attention one can receive (whether male or female). Dressing provocatively in public will get one attention (be it, a negative kind), but it will not get one respect.

As mentioned in my previous blog posts, I do not consider myself to be a feminist, nor do I hold those viewpoints. It takes two to do the tango. I believe that men are not any more “guilty” than women are when it comes to objectifying others. The human body is far over-sexualized in American society, and because of this, women can easily influence the thought processes of men. People treat others based on how they dress and act. Take for instance, two couples walk into an expensive car dealership. The first couple are dressed in business-professional suits. The second couple are both dressed in t-shirts and jeans. The first couple would get more acknowledgement and better help from the sales-man, because they are dressed for the part. In contradiction to feministic views, a woman can not expect to be treated with value, when she isn’t dressed to attract value, and vise versa.

I’m not saying that the way a person is dressed gives any man or woman an excuse to harm someone else. It is not justifiable. What I am saying, is that the way a person is dress does influence how he or she will be viewed and treated. A classy and conservative man would be more attracted to (and would show more respect and positive attention towards) a woman who is dressed conservatively, rather than a woman who’s breasts are bulging out for the world to see. It is easy to confuse positive and negative attention. When people dress provocatively, their feelings of personal self-worth decrease as they adapt to believing that their body is the only key to finding any self-validation.

My question is, how can a person (male or female) complain about being objectified when the very way he or she dresses simply begs to be? Dressing provocatively subconsciously decrease ones feelings of self-worth, and it decreases the “value” that his or her physical body has in the eyes of their significant other. Why would ones significant other want their partners body, when literally any person can have physical and/or visual “access” to it? Would you want a ball gown that every girl was going to wear to a formal event? No. Would you want the same name-brand shoes that every guy friend of yours has? No. It is human nature to want to stand out positively in a crowd. However, people have no incentive to value something that everyone has access to and/or can see.

In conclusion, I left the Los Angeles Fitness Exposition feeling inspired but also highly disappointed. It was euphoric, in one sense or another, knowing that I was surrounded by thousands of other people who wanted to improve upon themselves. The energy in the Los Angeles Convention Center was always surreal and motivating for me in the pursuit of my own goals. In another sense, the expo was also disappointing to me. I was aware that I was surrounded by people who simply lacked self-respect, and knowledge of how to attract positive attention and respect. Overall, aside from the professional payed-athletes, many people received negative attention by dressing in such a provocative manner. The same applies in the every-day world. If one desires positive attention, affirmation, and respect from others in society, they need to reflect self-respect in the way they dress.