To my female readers,

In a society where we all constantly degrade and compete with everyone we see, it has become more crucial than ever for us women to be emotionally supportive, uplifting and loving towards one another. We need to be each others biggest advocates and “shoulders to lean on.” Us women often complain about the words and actions of men. When they abandon us unexpectedly or fail to fill the void of emotional attention every one of us females needs, we turn towards other women. We do this, because us women provide one another with that emotional support and compassion that we often feel men are lack in providing in our lives. This is invaluable.

Unfortunately, being a female in this society comes with both its positives and negatives. I’d argue to say that I personally have more male friends than female friends. Having male friends is fantastic, because (as cliche as it sounds) less drama comes with those friendships, and men provide a sense of stability and logic when it comes to resolving situations. I appreciate this in some ways, because not only do men spin less drama, but they also have more fun in the “now” and they get over grudges very quickly. As you have probably observed, two men may get in a disagreement, and one beer later they are back to being best buds.

Often times, us women tend to add fuel to the fires of our lives, rather than adding water. We dwell in the heated emotions of problems, rather than forgiving and moving on. We often make minute problems, large-scale issues as a result of our refusal to love one another and our will to win! What we need to realize, is that not every war is worth winning. Our friendships and relationships should mean more to us than winning an argument of any kind. On the other hand, men are great at resolving drama. This is evident in that men become very close with their other male friends and they tend to keep those relationships for the long run. I believe that our adding of water to fires, rather than adding of fuel, would benefit us females in the same way. It is good for us women to not over-emotionalize every situation. However, this aspect of our beings is also a part of what makes us so special. Women, generally speaking, are better at sympathizing with the hurt and problems of others.

I have found that my holding of more male friendships has been (mostly) a positive experience, but it has also come with one downside. This “downside” is that, due to my dominantly male friendships, I have developed some difficulty with being compassionate towards female influences in my life. In the past, my male friends had influenced me to emotionally barricade myself from those who needed my compassion, or to try to solve a problem like that of a male: with as little emotion as humanly possible. This is something I have been working on.

Men tend to be more solutions oriented and logical, where as us women tend to over-emotionalize situations and make decisions accordingly to how we feel in the heat of the moment. There are times when dwelling in our emotions and the emotional states of others can be healthy. It can help us become closer to our female friends. However, there are also times when we should handle situations more like men do: they forgive, forget and look for logical solutions to problems rather than dwelling in their feelings. Hurting people hurt people. Because of this, it would greatly impact our friendships to look for logical, not over-emotional, ways to logically solve friendship-problems. While we do this, we should be sure to build up, rather than tear down the person/people we are at odds with. This adds water to the fire(s) and will likely save both parties a ton of emotional frustration.

There is nothing wrong with us women demonstrating our emotions so openly: it’s our womanly nature. However, it is invaluable for us to approach emotionally-trying situations both logically and emotionally. By the term “emotionally,” I do not mean that we should be crying at every drop of the dime when ourself or our friends are going through difficult times; I mean that we need to be able to have compassion, demonstrate love, and also be logical in our seeking for solutions to problems, while we find ways to comfort the hurting or ourselves. We need to do this even if we feel that we are the victim of the situation. Being able to connect with people and have deep compassion for them is our womanly gift and we are very fortunate to be able to tap into it so effortlessly; we need to make sure we utilize this gift at times when it wont dig ourselves or others a deeper grave.

We learn to logically problem solve through our male companionships and we learn to be sympathetic and compassionate through our female companionships. If we get lucky, we form close bonds with female friends and male friends. This is socially healthy. There is another difference that is dominantly pronounced in women in comparison to men; women tend to passively fight one another, where as men confront each other face-to-face. Perhaps this is why men resolve their friendship-problems so quickly… they bite rather than bark, but in a good way!

Speaking from my own past experiences, I have encountered numerous instances where women have bashed, judged, and insulted another women or myself, rather than demonstrating love and compassion to logically resolve an issue. I have wrongfully done this in the past and so have you. I truly believe and want to emphasize that every woman reading this is guilty of doing this to another woman at some point in our lives or another. Its unfortunate, but it is only a mistake if we didn’t learn a lesson from it. All problems are avoidable through love, compassion, communication and mutual respect for others.

All women need to stop talking trash about other women. We mustn’t backstab and deceive them. Out of respect and care for each other, we should not be breaking girl-code, because that loses us our friends trust. We need to stop disrespecting each other. We can’t be judging each other based on appearances because, we all have flaws (yes, you do to). As one societal unit, we need to come together and acknowledge that not one of us is as perfect as we portray ourselves to be online. We should encourage rather than discourage other women. We can’t keep excluding, degrading or insulting other women. When that guy breaks your heart, or your feelings get hurt, you will wish that you didn’t emotionally barricade yourself.

You will wish that you added water rather than fuel to those fires you aided in creating with your female friends. Us women need to uplift and stand up for one other. We need to put our pride aside and apologize when we did something wrong or even questionable. We should be commenting nice things on other women’s posts instead of talking poorly about them behind the security of our phones. We need to respect girl code. We should give each other helpful, rather than destructive advice (when asked for), and we should encourage each other to resolve problems using not just our hearts, but also our heads. Lets fix each others crowns and be each others shoulders to cry on, if needed. Lets include, inspire and uplift other women.

What good could ever be found in a society filled with women who only hurt and try to destroy each other? None. Lets be genuine, respectful, positive, uplifting, compassionate and logical when it comes to resolving our problems. Lets love each other instead of passively, or directly, tearing one another to bits and pieces. Lets be each others wing-women, support systems and friends, and lets make every woman we cross paths with feel that she too is a queen. If we want to be treated like a queen, we must treat others like one also. Most of all, we need to be a friend to every woman who desires our friendship! As women, our female friendships are vital: lets treat other women like the treasure they are in our lives. It’s time for a reality check… look in the mirror. Are you currently a reflection of the best woman you can be? Odds are, the answer is no. So lets begin today, right now, because it is not too late for you to be an admirable woman.